Abortion Guilt or Grief?

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The stigma associated with abortion, many times, brings a lack of empathy and understanding of others with judgement and preconceived biases.  But the hard decision to end an unplanned pregnancy is personal and varied, and those who have had to make that difficult decision go through a wide range of emotions, most notably guilt AND grief.

It was not too long ago that hearing the word “abortion” would have induced a great deal of stress and unresolved guilt in me. I often wonder how many other women still feel guilt, shame and grief from terminated pregnancies they have procured in their lives?

According to present statistics, 1 in 4 women will experience abortion in their lives with about 46 percent of women in this country will have to process their guilt and grief in a variety of ways.

Research has shown that the predictors for who will experience trauma after an abortion are:

  • Those feeling pressured or coerced to terminate a pregnancy – a recent study of 252 women reported 53 percent felt coerced through circumstances, lack of family support and finances.
  • Women experiencing reluctance or ambivalence – 30-60 percent of women seeking abortion express some desire to keep their child.

Psychological Effects

The psychological effects of a terminated pregnancy can mimic the same symptoms as those with Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) and include the following characteristics:

  • Eating disorders
  • Alcoholism
  • Self-Destructive behaviors
  • Workaholism
  • Promiscuity
  • Difficulty with Interpersonal relationships
  • Sexual dysfunctions/addiction
  • Anxiety and panic disorders
  • Clinical and post-partum depression
  • Flashbacks
  • Nightmares

When a woman loses a child through miscarriage or still birth – there is a grieving period expected. Sometimes there is even a funeral or memorial service where the mother can grieve in community and find support from friends and family. Not so in the case in an abortion loss.

Many times women can be in denial about their feelings until a triggering event occurs which brings these feelings to the surface. Triggering events can be the birth of other children, life stressing events, being childless as you enter menopause, and media images, church ,pro-life messages etc.

So what to do and where to go for healing if you are experiencing any of these symptoms? There are several on-line resources; Rachel’s Vineyard, Ramah International. Forgiven and Set Free, Afterabortion.org. It is important when seeking therapy for post-abortion healing that your therapist understands the complexity of the grieving process and is knowledgeable in the psychological ramifications of post-abortion guilt, as well as offers a safe and non-judgemental environment to help you through your grief and loss.

 

Kathryn Druzbicki, LMHCA

Therapist

Clarity Clinic

 

 

Burke, T. K. (1994). Abortion and Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. HLI Reports, 8-10.

Burke, T. M. (2002). Forbidden Grief. Anaheim: Acorn Books.

Coleman, P. (2009). Mothers Living in Poverty: How Uninvolved and Unreliable Men in their Lives May Drive Them to Abortion and How Abortion Increases Risk for Adverse Outcomes. Research Bulletin.

Dayton, T. (2000). Trauma and Addiction: ending the cycle of pain through emotional literacy. Deerfield Beach: Health Communications.

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